#19 Lily vs. Being All By Herself

Prior Post:
#18 Lily vs. Absence

So, you know the song that talks about being "all by myself..." Dude, the puppy feels that way tonight. Ain't nobody around. The Voice of Reason has the night off. But, the Lily must blog on...

At least I have you'all in the blogosphere. Seriously, you's all the Lily's only company tonight. Do you want some pizza? Could you buy it, 'cuz the puppy is fresh out of money. You's also going to have to order it 'cuz all the pizza owners in town know how much the Lily eats and they's no longer selling pizza to the puppy...All by myself....All by myself...

If you's out there tonight---and you haven't already left to go get the puppy some pizza--drop the puppy a line. Let her know how much you care...All by myself...

Ask her a question. Questions confuse the Lily and she likes being confused when she's...All by herself...

Maybe, the puppy should ask the questions. What's your favorite color? What's your favorite alter-ego puppy dog that has her own blog? What are your thoughts on the Hindenburg disaster?

The questions could go on and on, but, then again, there's no one really out there is there? Everyone has abandoned the Lily. They see her as nothing more than brainlessness unleashed in the extreme like she's frying the retinas of their intelligent faces. Well, the Lily has a face! Maybe not an intelligent one---but a face nonetheless. And she will not be let down. She will not go darkly into the night. She will keep blogging and hope that she's not gonna be...

All by herself...
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The Lily says, "Get Updates to the Blog!"

Other Posts:
#1 The Brainlessness Begins
#2 Lily vs. Question from Lyle

#18 Lily vs. Absence

Prior Post:
#17 Lily vs. IQ Test

Back by popular demand---which basically just includes the puppy because no one else gives a care about the Lily and no one else reads the blog about the puppy---Lily has ceased her absence.

On my vacation I saw the Andes mountains and I took a bite. No chocolate. No mint. Massive rip off. The puppy is perturbed.

The puppy also went to see the ruins in Peru. They's was all ruined. I guess the puppy should have seen that coming, but the Lily was hoping that calling them "ruins" was just an advertising ploy. You know, chaos sells. So do random phrases on t-shirts...

What did you do on your vacation away from the puppy's blog? Did you go search the deepest, darkest parts of...some place deep and dark...???

OK the puppy's stalling! She missed this blog. This blog is everything to her! It's her own Chronicles. If you's out there, faithful blog readers, then tell the whole worlds that the puppy is back! Send her URL to at least 50 of your friends. If you don't have 50 friends, then give up now. You's lame and you can't help it.

Voice of Reason: Lily! That's rude and inconsiderate. And that's no way to treat those that read your blog.

Hey! Voice of Reason is back too! And you's right, the Lily apologizes to the blog reading public. I'm sure you have many friends. Now, go, and shamelessly plug the puppy's blog to them!
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The Lily says, "Get Updates to the Blog!"

Other Posts:
#19 Lily vs. Being All By Herself
#1 The Brainlessness Begins

#17 Lily vs. IQ Test

Prior Post:
#16 Lily vs. Shellfish

The puppy just got her score back from her IQ test.

The score was actually negative.

Is that possible???

The test graders also gave the Lily a "pointer". The puppy's test had, in red ink:

"Give up now, Lily..."

But, oh no, holmes! No. The Lily is not going to give up. She is going to make even Scarelett O'Hara look silly in her notgivingupness! Yee! Stupid IQ test graders!

What do they know anyway???
___________________________________________________________________

The Lily says, "Get Updates to the Blog!"

Other Posts:
#18 Lily vs. Absence
#19 Lily vs. Being All By Herself

#16 Lily vs. Shellfish

Prior Post:
#15 Lily vs. The Brazilian Rainforest & German Sausages

Holmes! Have you ever eaten shellfish?

Voice of Reason: Yes Lily, I’ve eaten shellfish before.

Have you ever, like, totally thought, that eating them, demoralizes them???

Voice of Reason: Man, you are “the most brainless puppy this side of Texas, Michigan & New Hampshire”. Why would it demoralize them?

The puppy was just thinking that if they’s keep getting eaten all the time that they’s must be getting depressed from it.

You know, that’s why they’s got that shell…They’s trying to block out the world that keeps muscling in on them. (Get it!?! “Muscling in”? Anyway…)

Voice of Reason: Wow…Lily, you’re stupid. You’re muscling in on my IQ right now. Go away…Go run at a slant somewhere…
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The Lily says, "Get Updates to the Blog!"

Other Posts:
#17 Lily vs. IQ Test
#18 Lily vs. Absence

#15 Lily vs. The Brazilian Rainforest & German Sausages

Prior Post:
#14 Lily vs. Her Storied Past

So, the puppy has been considering the Brazilian rainforest recently.

Voice of Reason: What about it Lily?

Uh, nothing much…I hear they got trees.

Voice of Reason: Oh…You know, they’ve got rain too?

Seriously? Like little droplets from the sky that hurdle to the earth and incessantly beat the puppy into submission until she cries for more Krispy Kreme? She really digs Krispy Kreme…

Voice of Reason: Uh, the very same.

Rain in the forest…oh, hey! Rainforest! OK, the puppy gets it…

Voice of Reason: I’m happy to hear that.

Say…Do Germany got trees? The puppy’s been considering that recently too. And they’s got those tasty German sausages! Do the Brazilian Rainforests have those tasty German sausages?

Voice of Reason: No, they’re German sausages. That’s why Germany has them…

(Pause)

Voice of Reason: Don’t say it…

So do the Brazilian rainforests have Brazilian sausages?

Voice of Reason: Couldn’t resist could you??? No, Lily, they don’t. You’re an idiot.

The puppy can never resist German sausages. They’s tasty. Maybe someday they’s could make a German sausage flavored Krispy Kreme!

Voice of Reason: (smacks own forehead in frustration). No, Lily…

They could…you know, if they’s want to…Work with the puppy here!

Oh, the brainlessness.

Bark, woof, etc.
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The Lily says, "Get Updates to the Blog!"

Other Posts:
#16 Lily vs. Shellfish
#17 Lily vs. IQ Test

#14 Lily vs. Her Storied Past

Prior Post:
#13 Lily vs. The Blogosphere

Are you really a dawg or an alter-ego?

Pedro

Thank you Pedro for the question. The puppy has a storied past. This was going to be a surprise, but the title gave it away...

Anyway...

Voice of Reason: Lily, let me get this one...The Lily once was a puppy. She was born on Easter (Easter Lily), but unfortunately she has passed away. A truck ended her life, as well as that of her mother's, one night long ago . Same truck, two dogs. For years she lived on only in the memory of her owner, but now, because of the blogosphere, her story will be told....This is the truth. OK, back to you Lily.

Thank you, holmes. The Lily thinks her storied past sounds like a great start to a movie!

As time went on for the Lily, her owner saw what she was and what she was to become. Add creativity and a little bit of goofiness and the Brainless Lily Puppy has emerged. Then the puppy needed some chronicles ('cuz that makes it sound cooler!). This is some truth and a lot of brainless fun!

And the fun is just beginning for the puppy! She got so much to tell the world. Things like how severe unintelligence causes the puppy to run at a slant. The Voice of Reason has told the Lily that that is technically impossible, but the puppy does it just to slap physics right in the unbelieving toe ('cuz she can't reach the face...)
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The Lily says, "Get Updates to the Blog!"

Other Posts:
#15 Lily vs. The Brazilian Rainforest & German Sausages
#16 Lily vs. Shellfish

#13 Lily vs. The Blogosphere

Prior Post:
#12 Lily vs. Krispy Kreme

AAAaaaahhhhh!

SO anyway, the Lily's freaked out. Ugh...

The puppy's been surfing this here blogosphere thingy and the Lily has found nothing but freaky and random people.

Voice of Reason: Lily, your freaky and random.

Shut up! The puppy is talking here...

Take for instance the salted fishy juggler who feels compelled to talk about his innermost feelings of rejection by his peers. Hello...the dude juggles fishys. Now, if he talks about his innermost need to eat the fishys then that would be something. Because food is tasty. Or, if he blogged about how stupid kitties are...

Voice of Reason: Then he would be like Lily.

Why do you need to be so mean to the puppy? Seriously. Bark, woof, etc.

Or what about the dudet who blogs about fighting Klingons just to protect her cheese supply. What an idiot.

Voice of Reason: Lily, wait, you did that. It's right here at this URL: #11 Lily vs. Klingons

Or what about the absolutely freaky and random individual who hangs a can of spam on her mantle at home after she viciously captured it in it's natural habitat?

Voice of Reason: Lily, that was you too: #10 Lily vs. Spam

And what about the sap---seriously these bloggers should be slapped, holmes---who posted a story about when they's was a secretary for Krispy Kreme and how they's the bane of the Krispy Kreme CEO's life?

Voice of Reason: #12 Lily vs. Krispy Kreme

Why you keep saying that and posting those funky blue, underlined website thingys?

Voice of Reason: Because I'm waiting for the little hamster in your head to starting spinning the wheel that serves as your only hope of the resemblance of a brain.

There's a hamster in the puppy's head? Aaaahhh! GET IT OUT!!! Help, holmes! Help!

Wait...I wonder if the Lily could blog about this???
___________________________________________________________________

The Lily says, "Get Updates to the Blog!"

Other Posts:
#14 Lily vs. Her Storied Past
#15 Lily vs. The Brazilian Rainforest & German Sausages