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#6 Lily vs. Global Warming
Voice of Reason: So why don't telemarketers like you Lily?
Well, the puppy don't know. They call up and I say "This is the Lily". And they say "the who"? And I'm like, "I love that band"!
And they's like "What"?
And I'm like "Huh"?
And they's like "What"?
And I'm all, "What do you want, please?" (The puppy is very polite....)
Then, they tell me they's selling something. And I'm like "Is you selling food?" They's normally like "No, we's selling insurance". And I'm like, "Dude, holmes, the puppy needs insurance. Do you got brainlessness insurance? The puppy needs that."
Voice of Reason: And what do they say to that?
Normally, there's this awkward silence...and then, I hear them crying on the other end. And, then, I'm like "Is you OK?" That's normally when they say something like, "Lily, you's so stupid. I can't take it anymore. I'm quiting my job, holmes." (Only they don't normally say "holmes" to the puppy.)
What was funny, was one day somebody gave the puppy a medal "for her achievements". I said, "What's this thingy for? Can I eat it?" They said "NO, Lily! That's a medal for getting rid of the most telemarketers in the history of history." Apparently, they like it when the puppy talks to those telemarketers on the phone. I don't know why they cry so much though...I really do need brainlessness insurance. Like what if my stupidity accidentally rips a whole in the space/time continuum?
Voice of Reason: Lily, you're an idiot...
I just wished I could have eaten that medal though. It was gold. I wonder if it was granny apple flavored...
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The Lily says, "Get Updates to the Blog!"
#8 Lily vs. The Color Red
#9 Lily vs. Fatigue
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